I grew up listening to KISS. In 1978, my parents bought me an
\neight-track version of Gene Simmons’ 1978 solo album — I was in
\n2nd grade. Now, many many years later, I remember listening to two
\ntracks (“Tunnel of Love” & “Living in Sin”) over and over.
\nMaybe it was the sequencing on the eight-track tape; maybe it was
\nbecause I was an aspiring drummer; in any case, those two songs
\ncaptivated me the most.<\/p>\n
Fast forward to 2004 and the second Gene Simmons solo album.
\nMarketed sleekly as a culmination of the many influences KISS
\nbassist enjoys,
\nAsshole<\/i> is not what I was expecting. There are two tracks,
\n“Sweet & Dirty Love” and “Weapons of Mass Destruction,” that
\nare remotely close to what I was expecting — KISS songs in the
\nsame vein as “Boomerrang” from
\nHot in the Shade<\/i> or the aforementioned “Tunnel of Love.”
\nThat doesn’t surprise me since Bruce Kulick plays guitar and Eric
\nSinger slams the drums on these songs. I sense an uncredited Paul
\nStanley singing background vocals on a couple of lines in “Sweet
\n& Dirty Love” as well. So, on one level, Gene Simmons has
\nsatisfied what I was expecting.<\/p>\n
The other element in my expectation comes from the fact that
\nthis is the man that has given us the lewd lines we remember when
\nthe name of the release fades from recent memory and becomes a
\nsmile. (I’m thinking of the “Let me put my log in your fireplace”
\nline in “Burn Bitch Burn” from
\nAnimalize<\/i>). This is the man that has slept with so many
\nwomen, he can’t keep track.<\/p>\n
Instead, except for the aforementioned two tracks, I get lyrics
\nlike “And here I’m all alone\/ Sitting by the telephone” in the tune
\n“Waiting For The Morning Lig,” which was co-written with Bob Dylan.
\nLet’s not kid ourselves. Those lyrics suck. I’d rather listen to
\nVanilla Ice’s comeback CD than that drivel. The next track,
\n“Beautiful,” shows Simmons sinking lower than “Light” as he tries
\nto evoke the Beatles, and fails.<\/p>\n
Then we get to the title track. If the lyrics were cleaned up
\njust a bit, this would replace Good Charlotte on rock radio.
\nSeriously. Imagine a catchy guitar riff with an interesting hook
\nand you have this song. And like the entire Good Charlotte CD, the
\nlyrics on this song are digging into me like a misdirected fishing
\nhook — the more you pull out, the more pain you feel, until you
\ndecide, “Ah, hell. Live with it.” Lyrics in the chorus include
\n“You’re such a creep \/ You look like a sheep \/ (Baaa) \/
\nAsshole.”<\/p>\n
“Now That You’re Gone” brings a subtle John Lennon sound to your
\nears. I can hear this song being one that I dig out this release to
\nhear again. The laid-back vocal delivery and kids singing
\nbackground make this an unexpected gem on this release. On the
\nother hand, “Whatever Turns You On” sounds like a rap song, with
\nall sorts of dialogue and questioning (a female vocalist asks, “Say
\nwhat?”) after Simmons sings a line. This song doesn’t do much for
\nme.<\/p>\n
“Dog” is closer to what I was expecting lyrically when Simmons
\nsings, “You know I kinda love ya \/ all the way to the bitter end \/
\nbecause you’re breaking my balls \/ you’re making me crawl.” Simmons
\nis at his best when directly confronting his subject. The next
\ntrack, “Black Tongue” continues that trend with these lyrics, “If
\neveryone says you’re much too old \/ You’re out of style \/ Just tell
\n’em you do their sister and mommy \/ Everyone once in a while.”<\/p>\n