Quite successfully, Fake Brain’s
\nSo Glad You Came<\/i> has easily become the worst slab of poppy
\ncommercialized crap I’ve ever heard.<\/p>\n
The drudgery that is this disc begins with 1:25 of vocalist
\nGideon droning on that “the juices are starting to flow.”
\nCertainly, he can’t be talking about the band’s creative juices!
\nThe feedback-thick effect is overdone and Gideon’s lack of vocal
\ntalent is apparent, even after less than a minute. His voice comes
\nacross as a cross between Archers of Loaf and Protein, both great
\nbands. Unfortunately, Gideon adopts the weakest element of both of
\nthose bands vocalists: whining.<\/p>\n
“Smile A Mile Wide” brings more whining to the forefront. Gideon
\nintones, “Your smile a while mind\/ should have been left\/ by the
\nroadside\/ ah, look at them wrecked\/ by the roadside.” Third track
\n“Your Drunk Wife” starts out with an interesting idea: “I want to
\nspend\/ the rest of my life\/ with your drunk wife\/ I want to go on a
\ndate\/ with your drunk mate.” The track eventually collapses into
\npoppy fluff, complete with a zillion “ever ever ever ever”
\nrepeated.<\/p>\n
The fourth track “Perfect Package” probably has the best guitar
\nriff. Unfortunately, the riff drops to the back of the mix to allow
\nGideon’s distorted voice to rant and rave about “the perfect
\npackage\/ but there was nothing inside.” Huh? Is he singing about
\nthe lack of quality songs on this disc?<\/p>\n
That would be feasible since Gideon’s illustrations of a heart
\nwith an arrow through it and a head with a bunch of different faces
\nare interesting to look at. I suspect he referred to a medical book
\nwhen he drew the heart since it’s complete with valves. Either that
\nor Gideon moonlights as a heart surgeon. Tell me what hospital he’s
\nat so I don’t check in.<\/p>\n
All in all, then, this disc quickly becomes a session in tired
\nideas, lyrics that read like cheap Primus imitations and music that
\ndoesn’t hold my interest.<\/p>\n
“Organism” is a perfect example of the band’s drudgeries. On top
\nof more Gideon wailing, lyrics like “Enzymes\/ Synapses\/ calcium\/
\nprotein\/ that’s what little girls are made of.” Really? I had no
\nidea! “Gimme Some Room” is probably the closest track to having a
\nfuture as either a video or radio hit. At the same time, “it sucks
\nto be suckered\/ by a ventriloquist’s kiss.” No, it’d suck to be
\nthat stupid.<\/p>\n
The disc’s sole redeeming value has to be the upbeat syncopated
\n“Up On 2 Wheels.” Combining an interesting riff with lyrics about
\n“I’m going to catch the bad guy\/ Going up on two wheels.” The
\nguitar solo is even interesting. That and the song is only 1:41
\nlong make this the best track on the disc!<\/p>\n
I often find bands save their best material for the end of the
\ndisc. Not so with the final track “So Glad You Came.” On top of a
\ntoo-loud-in-the mix bass guitar, Gideon is wailing about “I’m so
\nglad you came\/ holding it in for so long\/ what a shame.” He must be
\nwailing about an audience that came to see the band live. I would
\nbe grateful to that person as well!<\/p>\n
Now, I realize this is the debut release for the band and that
\nto expect something in the caliber of R.E.M.’s
\nGreen<\/i> or the Cars’
\nHeartbeat City<\/i> is asking way too much. Yet, Protein’s debut
\nalbum
\nEver Since I Was A Kid<\/i> is still brilliant, almost 3 years
\nlater. Other bands like Stir, Gouds Thumb, and Pure all created
\nexcellent music on their debut albums. So why doesn’t Fake
\nBrain?<\/p>\n
I’m not 100% sure, though I’d go out on a limb and suggest it
\nhas something to do with the stupid lyrics, the annoying vocals of
\nGideon and the predictable melodies. No, the exact melodies on this
\ndisc are original; this isn’t a cover band. That’s what is probably
\neven scarier!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":27361,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[7278],"rating":[5620],"class_list":["post-38726","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-fake-brain","rating-rating-f"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/38726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38726"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/38726\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=38726"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=38726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}