Okay, I admit it – when M.C. Hammer started infiltrating the
\nairwaves in 1990, I got hooked on the catchiness of “U Can’t Touch
\nThis”. Thanks to a black roommate who barely tolerated me (and who
\nI thought was an asshole – I know, I worked with him in radio, and
\nhe made my life hell), I got exposed to “Hammertime” thanks to
\nArsenio Hall’s worshipping of the former Stanley Burrell.<\/p>\n
Now, eight years after it came out,
\nPlease Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em<\/i> sits collecting dust in the
\nPierce Archives (Go Bulls), and after listening to it again last
\nweek, the question I have to ask is: What the hell were all of us
\nthinking<\/i> in 1990? This isn’t R&B, this isn’t even rap –
\nit’s crap.<\/p>\n
M.C. Hammer hardly shows any creativity at all on this album.
\nStealing blindly form Rick James (sampling “Super Freak” on “U
\nCan’t Touch This”), butchering an R&B classic by speaking – not
\nsinging, mind you…
\nspeaking<\/i> – new lyrics to “Have You Seen Her?”, and dipping
\ninto Prince’s catalog not once, but
\ntwice<\/i>, and managing to fuck it up each time.<\/p>\n
An area where the lack of creativity is heard is in the raps
\nthemselves. Hammer barely gets going with a rhyme when – bam! – he
\nreturns to the chorus. It’s damned near impossible to get into any
\nof the songs on this album. Having said that, I will make one
\nexception – “Yo!! Sweetness” is a catchy number that did have me
\npumping my fists in the air for about fifteen seconds, thanks to a
\ncatchy chorus.<\/p>\n
But Hammer’s claim to be the anti-gangsta rap doesn’t explain
\nthe material’s sheer weakness. “Crime Story” hardly helps dilute
\nanything that N.W.A had said to this point, while Hammer’s PG-13
\nside comes out on “She’s Soft And Wet” – and if you believe this is
\na story about someone who just got out of the swimming pool, I have
\nsome videos I think you’d better spend some serious time with.<\/p>\n
And when Hammer does get a somewhat interesting groove going, he
\ncompletely runs it into the ground with its redundance. “Pray”
\ncould have been a good song had Hammer lengthened the verses, and
\nif he had cut the extended instrumental groove at the end by about
\na minute. “Work This,” on the other hand, is beyond salvation –
\nit’s too damned irritating, as is “Dancin’ Machine,” which steals
\nfrom (of all people) the Jackson 5. Hey, Hammer, word of advice –
\nthere’s a reason that Michael, Tito and the boys
\nsang<\/i> the friggin’ chorus… speaking it really sucks.<\/p>\n
It’s not that I’m anti-rap; quite the contrary. But
\nPlease Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em<\/i> shows no real originality at
\nall in the pieces. Groups like Digital Underground knew how to
\ncraft a song without relying on the samples. To Hammer, the sample
\nis the thing – bad idea. If you don’t have strong development to
\nback them up, samples don’t mean a thing. (Ironic that the
\nstranglehold that
\nPlease Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em<\/i> had on the charts was broken by
\nVanilla Ice, who did for rap music what Chernobyl did for the
\nSoviet Union.)<\/p>\n
Hammer is supposedly ready to re-start his career with a new
\nalbum this year. If it’s anything like
\nPlease Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em<\/i>, allow me to suggest a title:
\nPlease, Hammer, Don’t Bother.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":27630,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[7410],"rating":[11203],"class_list":["post-39005","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-m-c-hammer","rating-rating-d-minus"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/39005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/39005\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27630"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=39005"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=39005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}