It’s a guarantee in this job that I’ll get the opportunity to
\nreview some absolutely fabulous discs, and be able to sing the
\npraises of artists and bands who may one day be topping the charts.
\nIt’s also a guarantee that for every one such disc, I’ll have to
\nwade through quite a bit of mediocre CDs from bands who might have
\nsome promise, but just aren’t at that level yet.<\/p>\n
And then, there’s the final guarantee – or is that threat? –
\nthat I’ll be forced to listen to some discs which will make me want
\nto claw my eardrums out with a gardening tool before the first song
\nis over. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Seven Foot Spleen and their
\ndebut disc
\nEnter Therapy<\/i>, a CD that no poison control center should be
\nwithout, since it’s guaranteed to make you want to puke.<\/p>\n
Featuring a band whose members are too cool for last names and a
\nsinger (Jon) who has a voice like Joan Jett being forced to drink
\nbattery acid, this punk\/thrash quintet tries to display their power
\nover the course of 70-plus minutes and 12 songs (we’ll get to the
\nunlisted track later). All the listener will hear, though, is
\nunfocused, meandering music which doesn’t seem to know which
\ncategory it wants to belong to. If it were merely confusing, I
\nthink I could forgive Seven Foot Spleen – but this music is just
\nbad<\/i>.<\/p>\n
At times, it feels like the group purposely stretches out a song
\nin order to prove they can write songs longer than three minutes.
\nNice try – but trying to flesh out a song that doesn’t have much
\nthere to begin with is kind of like strapping a prisoner in the
\nelectric chair and making him wait while you jokingly push the wall
\naround the button, never actually hitting the button that will end
\nthe agony of waiting.<\/p>\n
Does it sound like I’m being a little rough? Then try sitting
\nthrough such sludge as “It Smells,” “Rag Acne,” “Power” and “Clean
\nCatch Urine Specimen” for yourself, and see how long it takes for
\nyou to yank this disc from the player and smash it against the
\nwall.<\/p>\n
If all this wasn’t enough, the band offers listeners a “gift” at
\nthe end of the disc – the bonus track. The untitled twelfth track
\nis nothing more than a sound loop, which at times is actually
\nbetter than the crap that Seven Foot Spleen included on the disc
\nproper. But the constant, repetitive drone of this loop is enough
\nto drive you crazy after two minutes – and it stretches on for far
\nlonger than that. Note to the band: Just because a CD can hold 74
\nminutes’ worth of music doesn’t mean you have to fill every second
\nof it.<\/p>\n
\nEnter Therapy<\/i> is the kind of disc which just might drive
\npeople back to therapy. If there was ever a time to undergo
\nelective surgery, it might be time to have Seven Foot Spleen
\nremoved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28069,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[7614],"rating":[5620],"class_list":["post-39463","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-seven-foot-spleen","rating-rating-f"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/39463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39463"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/39463\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28069"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=39463"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=39463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}