Damn, I thought I had it.<\/p>\n
When my roommate lent me Wrestlemania<\/i> and told me just what it entailed, Mr. Clutterbuck was sure he had found his first \u201cF\u201d review. Unfortunately, as much as it pains to me say the following, Wrestlemania<\/i> had just enough \u201cdecent\u201d moments to avoid being labeled a complete and total failure.<\/p>\n
First, I think it is worth mentioning that the producer of this outstanding disc is none other than Simon Cowell. Yes, you heard right, the very same Simon Cowell who essentially has the music industry by the throat these days thanks to the monstrosity that is American Idol. Ironically, despite my harsh feelings towards Cowell, I have to admit that he is the sole reason this disc didn\u2019t get the \u201cF.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes, Wrestlemania<\/i> reeks of the early 1990s; it doesn\u2019t sound like there was a real instrument used on the entire disc. And yes, the main \u201cperformers\u201d on this disc are actual wrestlers from the WWF; you may remember such \u201cathletes\u201d as Macho Man Randy Savage and Brett the Hitman Hart? But somehow, against all the odds, Cowell makes this disc one of the most unintentionally hilarious discs ever. I hope on all that is holy that he did not take this project seriously in any way, because if he did, that could quite possibly shatter my notions of how the universe works.<\/p>\n
Now, I don\u2019t mean to imply that I enjoyed Wrestlemania<\/i>. It\u2019s horrendous in so many ways. The wrestlers don\u2019t actually sing, thank God, but instead perform along the lines of spoken word. So the Hitman really doesn\u2019t send his vocals soaring on \u201cNever A Right Time To Say Goodbye,\u201d but by gosh if he doesn\u2019t sound intense!<\/i> Ladies, if a man ever \u201csings\u201d to you in this way, start running immediately.<\/p>\n
Just to ensure that he covers all his bases, Cowell pulls out one of the most stereotyped songs I\u2019ve had the pleasure of listening to in \u201cTatanka Native American.\u201d Let\u2019s just say that Cowell\u2019s production style on this track in attempting to craft an Indian sound is as subtle as a William Hung performance on\u2026 well\u2026 American Idol<\/em>. <\/p>\n To say anymore about this disc could seriously imperil my mental health; it was bad enough to have to listen to this a few\u00a0times in order to present to you, the reader, a comprehensive and hard-hitting piece of journalism. And in the end, I didn\u2019t even get an \u201cF\u201d out of it. I guess the search continues\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":28710,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[5827],"rating":[11203],"class_list":["post-40202","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-various-artists","rating-rating-d-minus"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/40202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40202"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/40202\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28710"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=40202"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=40202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}