Hey, kids\u2026we\u00a0have a new CD!\u00a0 Taxi Doll is band from Los Angeles — a rock \u2018n\u2019 roll band?\u00a0 Well, sort of.\u00a0 They’re a little bit rock \u2018n\u2019 roll, a little bit dance, a little bit pop\u2026hmm.\u00a0If their press notes are to be believed, they’re the frickin’ Lucky Charms of the musical world.\u00a0 So, here’s the CD cover.\u00a0 What do you think this music is going to sound like?<\/p>\n
Sarah (Age 6):\u00a0 \u201cI see one psycho and a Mexican.\u201d
Jake (Age 3):\u00a0 \u201cHOLY BIT\u00a0music!\u201d (Ed. note:\u00a0 I have no idea what that means, either.)
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cShka-shka-SHOO\u00a0music!\u00a0 Um, how about awesome rock?\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cAWESOME ROCK!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ask, my\u00a0children,\u00a0and ye shall receive:\u00a0the first track, \u201cCome to Me,\u201d is indeed awesome rock.\u00a0\u00a0It\u00a0features an electrified wah-wah pedal\u00a0backed by\u00a0vocals which are pure\u00a0cotton candy — fluffy, sugary and ethereal.\u00a0 Think\u00a0\u201dKylie\u00a0invites\u00a0The\u00a0Cardigans\u00a0over for a\u00a0potluck dinner.\u201d\u00a0 So, what do YOU think?<\/p>\n
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cThis song makes me feel like Yoda!\u201d
Grown-ups:\u00a0 \u201c…\u201d
Me:\u00a0 \u201cJake…does it make\u00a0YOU feel like anything?\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cDancing!\u00a0 And\u2026and…vrancing!\u201d<\/p>\n
It’s a small step from vrancing to boot-scooting, apparently.\u00a0 The next track, \u201cFollow Lead,\u201d is a curious but effective mish-mosh of Top 40 and twang.\u00a0 While unlikely, it makes total sense… what other genres are as devoted to pleasing their fans?\u00a0 How do you feel about this song?<\/p>\n
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cWe already heard this one!\u00a0 We did!\u00a0 Oh, wait\u2026no, we didn’t.\u201d\u00a0 [scrunches up face inquisitively<\/em>] The next cut, \u201cA Little More Love,\u201d\u00a0could be described as Lesser Britney.\u00a0 It’s not irresistibly catchy, but the dirty guitars and insistent techno beat make it a damned sight more interesting than the singles.\u00a0 What do you think this song sounds like?<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cBeep beep music!\u201d Moving right along.\u00a0 \u201cGive You More\u201d truly lives up to its name.\u00a0 If there’s one thing\u00a0Here and Now<\/i> could use, it’s edginess.\u00a0 It’s polished and proficient, but\u00a0until the orgasmic moans of \u201cGive You More,\u201d it’s also entirely too tame.\u00a0 Laid over gawky, Bjork-esque funk,\u00a0they make \u201cGive You More\u201d one of the album’s\u00a0best tracks.\u00a0 Kids?<\/p>\n Jake:\u00a0 [shrieks for two minutes straight<\/em>] Um…how trenchant.\u00a0 Let’s take a look at \u201cLook What You Get.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0It’s an exotic little confection, a\u00a0sinuous beat laced with choppy, fragmented vocals.\u00a0 Listening to it, you can almost feel beads of dance-floor sweat washing away your body glitter.<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0\u00a0[makes jazz hands<\/em>]:\u00a0 \u201cExperience the world!\u201d On the other hand, \u201cWinter\u201d — the disc’s sole ballad — puts its leisurely, echoic\u00a0melancholy on EVERYONE’s head.\u00a0 Quoth Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cIt’s slow music…sloooooowish?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0[twists arms rapidly in\u00a0circle, makes\u00a0face like stroke victim<\/em>]\u00a0 \u201cZebra stripe music!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWinter\u201d is followed by its delicious diametric opposite.\u00a0 \u201cHere and Now\u201d\u2019s noir-reggae is what might happen if Madness\u00a0exchanged their suits for pleather minidresses.<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 [does John Travolta move from \u201cPulp Fiction\u201d<\/em>] \u201cNotice Me\u201d doesn’t inspire pyromania, but it still hits home.\u00a0 It’s an electrified \u201cTrue Blue\u201d B-side — coquettish but still heartfelt (\u201cNotice me, I’m the one with the broken heart<\/em>\u201d).<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 \u201c…I have to think about\u00a0it.\u00a0\u00a0I know…gymnastic!\u201d\u00a0[flails around floor like cast of \u201cFlashdance\u201d having grand mal seizures<\/em>] While not an instant dance sensation, \u201cStrange Rush\u201d is a marvelous, fine-boned little bird.\u00a0 Even\u00a0its atonal drum crashes feel delicate on top of the whispery, seductive vocals. <\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 [sticks out tongue<\/em>] \u201cIt’s\u00a0Chinese music.\u201d [impromptu breakdance session<\/em>]<\/p>\n \u201cBe With You\u201d brings things back to the \u201880s\u2026specifically, the Pat Benataraceaous Era (\u201cSuch a sin to be blue without you, you make me feel alright<\/em>\u201d).<\/i>\u00a0 If anything were to make you bust out your old junior varsity cheerleading uniform, its disco-diva \u201cooohs\u201d and pop-tango backbeat would do the trick.<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cThis song\u00a0makes me want to turn into a dog and lick\u00a0another dog’s\u00a0butt.\u201d<\/p>\n The final track, \u201cSoft Kill,\u201d was both the kids\u2019 favorite and my own.\u00a0 It’s a sneak peek of what Taxi Doll could be: hard-hitting, intense and dirty-licious.\u00a0Beats this solid are capable\u00a0of shaking any rump, no matter how teeny-tiny.<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 [squints<\/em>]\u00a0\u201cLike rocks falling down a cliff!\u00a0 This song is fantastic!\u00a0 I love it!\u201d At their best, Taxi Doll is indeed \u201cexcited and proud and awesome and crazy.\u201d\u00a0 They’ve got the potential to be the cr\u00e8me de la fluff.\u00a0 Not every era produces a Mozart, but every era can (and should) have its own \u201cBarbie Girl.\u201d There are better albums than Here and Now<\/i>, but there are far worse things than being the Aughts\u2019 version of Aqua.\u00a0 Sarah put it best:<\/p>\n Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cIt’s pink-a-licious!\u201d
Me:\u00a0 \u201cWhat’s this song making you feel?\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201c…I just farted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cHoly bit music, again!\u201d\u00a0[at this point, Jake rips the CD case in two<\/em>]
Boyfriend:\u00a0 \u201cI…I\u00a0think it’s making Jake feel destructive?\u201d\u00a0 [Tim calls the contact number\u00a0listed in the liner notes. \u00a0Jake leaves a message:\u00a0 \u201cUmmmmm…sorry I broke your CD.\u00a0 There, I said it!\u201d<\/em>]<\/p>\n
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cIt’s kind of weird, but it makes me want to stand up\u00a0for myself.\u201d
Me:\u00a0 \u201cJake, does this song make you feel like anything but screaming?\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cIt feels like…BURNING! \u00a0ICE CREAM!\u00a0 BULLY!\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cCan I say\u00a0any words I want in a record review?\u201d
Grown-ups:\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0\u00a0Yes,\u00a0you can.\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cShit shit shit!\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake:\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI’m feeling…nuffing.\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cI’m feeling like I want to wrestle with Jacob.\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cI\u00a0feel like\u00a0putting my private on somebody’s head!\u201d
Me:\u00a0 \u201cYOU ARE NOT PUTTING YOUR PRIVATE ON ANYBODY’S HEAD.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake:\u00a0 [hits me in the face with a pillow<\/em>]:\u00a0 \u201cI’m gonna smash everything in the house!\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cEverything I see, I’ll smash!\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cDance!\u00a0 I really wanna dance!\u201d\u00a0 [plays air guitar, then rides an air surfboard, then proceeds to grab\u00a0cat<\/em>]\u00a0 \u201cC’mon, let’s dance, you hippie!\u00a0 Let’s burn the house down!\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake:\u00a0 [walks into room<\/em>]: \u201cLet’s DANCE!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0[runs around mincing and shrieking like a kabuki actress<\/em>]<\/p>\n
Me:\u00a0 [puts Jake on lap<\/em>]:\u00a0 \u201cHow does this song make you feel?\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 [wriggles loose<\/em>]:\u00a0 \u201cLet’s ROCK AND ROLL!\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cIt makes me want to noogie Jake’s head!\u201d
Me:\u00a0 \u201cWhat does it make you feel?\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cUm…nuffing.\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cIt makes me excited and proud and awesome and crazy!\u201d
Jake:\u00a0 \u201cThat’s what it makes me feel, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Boyfriend:\u00a0 \u201cSo if someone had the choice between buying this record and\u00a0getting a Nintendo DS game, what would you tell them to do?\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201cBuy this album!\u201d
Tim:\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u00a0 Why?\u201d
Sarah:\u00a0 \u201c…but I want a DS game.\u201d
Grown-ups:\u00a0 [die laughing<\/em>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":29768,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[8352],"rating":[5612],"class_list":["post-41375","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-taxi-doll","rating-rating-b-minus"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/41375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/41375\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=41375"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=41375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}