{"id":42005,"date":"2010-06-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-06-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/reviews\/hang-cool-teddy-bear\/"},"modified":"2010-06-12T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-06-12T00:00:00","slug":"hang-cool-teddy-bear","status":"publish","type":"review","link":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/reviews\/hang-cool-teddy-bear\/","title":{"rendered":"Hang Cool Teddy Bear"},"content":{"rendered":"

During a recent promo tour Down Under to promote his eleventh studio album, Hang Cool Teddy Bear, <\/i>Mr. Loaf spent most of his time dumping on album number ten (Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose<\/i>) because apparently he didn\u2019t want to do it, but the record company forced him to and now he hates both the record and the company. Sure, there were some decent songs on it, but it wasn\u2019t great, so maybe he has a point. Having said that, if he thinks this album is any better, then he\u2019s delusional because it ain\u2019t. As with any Loaf release, there is a concept, and as with most Loaf albums, it\u2019s a bloody confusing one.\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

This is kind of like those old \u201cchoose your adventure\u201d novels that I used to love as a kid.\u00a0 Skipping tracks takes you to your favorite adventures, and you never have to hear the bad ones.\u00a0 That is, you see, because each of these tracks offers a different outcome for the fictional character at the center of the plot, who is a soldier that has been injured and is now dreaming about his future. Problem is, over the course of thirteen songs and 65 minutes, I just don\u2019t care anymore.\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

Too many scenarios and not enough carefree rock and I\u2019m done with this one after only a few plays. Loaf is a guy who never takes himself too seriously, and that is one of the elements I\u2019ve always loved in his best work (Bat<\/i> and Bat 2<\/i>) is the way he celebrates just that with black humor, laugh-out-loud lyrics, and huge, beefy arrangements tailor-made for his larger than life persona.\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

This is all missing though from HCTB<\/i>. Sure, there are massive hooks and bombastic rockers (\u201cPeace On Earth\u201d and \u201cLos Angeloser\u201d), but there\u2019s also something generic about them and they don\u2019t hold a candle to his best work or even his underrated rockers from the Welcome To The Neighborhood <\/i>set from 1995. Overblown love song \u201cIf I Can\u2019t Have You\u201d is more of the same mundane pop-rock, and the Jon Bon Jovi\/Desmond Child-penned \u201cElvis In Vegas\u201d is just plain stupid. When was the last time JBJ wrote a good tune, anyway?\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

A couple of positives are notable, though. \u201cSong Of Madness\u201d rocks, mainly because of Steve Vai\u2019s awesome guitar work. \u201cLet\u2019s Be In Love\u201d is a beautiful, melodic love song that features Loaf\u2019s longtime main-squeeze (only onstage, however), Patti Russo. Anyone who has seen a Meat Loaf gig post-1993 will be familiar with Ms. Russo, who possesses one of the great rock voices. Just how come this woman has never scored a recording deal is beyond me; she kills it every time, and this song is no exception.\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

\u201cLike A Rose\u201d and \u201cIf It Rains\u201d are just decent rock songs that I\u2019m neither here nor there about.\u00a0 Cock-rocker Justin Hawkins wrote \u201cCalifornia Isn\u2019t Big Enough (Hey There Girl)\u201d for the album, and hearing Meat sing the corker \u201cI can barely fit my dick in my pants \/ California isn\u2019t big enough for me\u201d is just cringe-worthy, to say the least.\u00a0 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

In the words of Meat Loaf, he will never record another album without Rob Cavallo producing it because Mr. Loaf honestly thinks this is one of the best albums he has ever recorded. Next time, I just hope they can tap into some of that old magic and come up with an idea that has a stronger life-force that this one.<\/o:p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":30345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[5932],"rating":[11204],"class_list":["post-42005","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-meat-loaf","rating-rating-c-minus"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/42005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/67"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/42005\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/30345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=42005"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=42005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}