Over nearly 30 years of writing reviews for this site, I think the staff has come to know me as the writer\u2019s version of Super Dave Osborne. You know\u2014the one who will tackle the worst of the worst, just so they don\u2019t have to fall on those audio grenades (or perhaps because I\u2019m too stupid to say \u201cno\u201d).<\/p>\n
Having Fun With Elvis On Stage<\/i>? Sure, I\u2019ll tackle it. Allman And Woman? I\u2019m on it. Unfinished Music #1: Two Virgins<\/i>? I\u2019ll give it a spin. I\u2019ve listened to \u2019em all, even occasionally finding something worthwhile in what was otherwise a pile of shit, and I\u2019ve survived them all.<\/p>\n
And then\u2026 there is Philosophy Of The World<\/i>, the only release from The Shaggs, a record that some have called the worst thing ever to be recorded. Yet, over the years, it\u2019s found favor with such musicians as Frank Zappa and Bonnie Raitt\u2026 so it couldn\u2019t be that<\/i> bad, could it?<\/p>\n
No. It\u2019s worse. Rounder Records\u2026 what the fuck were you people thinking<\/u><\/i><\/b> when you agreed to re-release this? (For the record, no pun intended: No, I did not spend money on this one. Let\u2019s just say I \u201cinherited\u201d it from a bunch of records that a radio station was getting rid of. That should have been my first warning sign.)<\/p>\n
Picture this: three sisters, all of whom are barely functional on their instruments of \u201cchoice.\u201d (Their willingness to be part of this has been called into serious question over the years.) On one side, you have Dot and Betty Wiggin on guitars that are severely out of tune\u2026 making you think that one of the first lessons they\u2019d have learned would have been how to properly tune the fuckin\u2019 things. On the other, sister Helen Wiggin on drums, playing as if she\u2019s listening to an entirely different song, the beat is so out in left field.<\/p>\n
And the vocals\u2026 dear Christ, the vocals. Sounding like a cross between The Simpsons<\/i>\u2019s Mayor Quimby and Elmer Fudd, the lyrics follow absolutely no rhythmic pattern. Or stylistic, for that matter; they\u2019re so rambling that they border on incoherency. At least the vocals are somewhat in tune\u2026 unlike their guitars. (I\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s a sticking point for me as a guitarist.)<\/p>\n
Allegedly, the engineers of this one-day session were rolling on the studio floor in hysterics at these 12 poor attempts at music. Me? I wouldn\u2019t have been laughing; I\u2019d be too busy trying not to lose my lunch all over the console (and, the deeper I\u2019m getting into this album, I\u2019d probably have failed).<\/p>\n
I mean, I want<\/i> to find something unique to talk about in these tracks. But, for the most part, songs like \u201cMy Pal Foot Foot,\u201d \u201cThings I Wonder,\u201d \u201cWho Are Parents?\u201d and \u201cMy Companion\u201d all merge together like some poisonous primordial muck. The vocals are all akin to nails on a chalkboard, the guitars refuse to stay in time, much less in tune\u2026 and Helen Wiggin seems perfectly happy just chugging away on the drums, as if she\u2019s already playing the next song (and, undoubtedly, probably was).<\/p>\n
Look, I understand that all musicians need a place to start out, and you\u2019re not going to be Robert Fripp, Neil Peart or Andrea Bocelli the first time you go out there and test the waters. I\u2019ve heard enough performers at Open Mic events I\u2019ve frequented and played at over the years to know this; the thing is, with most of them, I\u2019ve heard their skills improve over the course of a few months. If The Shaggs were one of those bands performing at an event I was attending, I truly believe they\u2019d sound just as bad, even years down the road.<\/p>\n
As for the musicians who found joy in Philosophy Of The World<\/i>? I\u2019m not gonna slam them for their opinions; if anything, the nicest thing I can say about this disc is that you can hear the germination of the sound that bands like Sonic Youth would champion (though they could actually play their instruments). Unfortunately, that\u2019s about the nicest thing I can say about this album, other than it\u2019s only about 30 minutes in length. Thank Christ it wasn\u2019t an hour long.<\/p>\n
The Shaggs somehow never got around to releasing a second album\u2026 which is proof positive to me that God does exist. Philosophy Of The World<\/i> easily lives up to its ranking as one of the worst albums ever released. I\u2019d give it a lower rating than an \u201cF\u201d if we offered it on this site, it\u2019s that deserving. I would rather listen to Two Virgins<\/i> and William Hung on infinite loop than listen to this album one more fucking time. It\u2019s that bad. Avoid this turkey. You\u2019ve been warned.<\/p>\n
And remember, kids: \u201cSuper Dave\u201d listened to it so you don\u2019t ever have to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":35441,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"artist":[11166],"rating":[5620],"class_list":["post-47337","review","type-review","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","artist-the-shaggs","rating-rating-f"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/47337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/review"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47337"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/review\/47337\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35441"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"artist","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/artist?post=47337"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyvault.adishjain.in\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=47337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}