In “Long Live Punk,” the Anti-Nowhere League proclaim “Well we
hit the streets with hell for leather / You know Punk Rock’s gonna
live forever / Punk Rock’s gonna live forever / Punk Rock’s gonna
live forever.”
Hopefully it will be performed by bands that have their act
together more than this one.
In concept, I admit it’s a great idea. Take the band that
originally played the vulgar “So What” that Metallica covered and
released on the CD single for “Sad But True.” Then, fueled by the
popularity of the Metallica cover, go into the studio and record
more songs in the hope that the fact that Metallica fans seem to
like “So What” may translate into gigantic album sales.
Of all the flaws with this logic, I will focus upon the three
largest: First of all, the Anti-Nowhere League is too raw to get a
lot of mainstream attention. Their songs are full of vulgarity,
which you can read at your leisure
here. Their idea of good lyrics are drivel like
“We all fall down like chocolate soldiers!” Elsewhere in the song,
vocalist Animal declares “Do you like the feeling when you’re
getting high / Do you run with a gang when you want to bang / Hey
why don’t you try / You’re shooting up and maybe…you’re gonna
wake the dead.” I want my punk rock to be more intelligent than
this and, in fact, I demand that the musicians don’t treat me like
a moron by insulting my intelligence.
Second, the band is made up of lousy musicians who sound like
they aren’t trying as hard as they should be trying to write a
decent guitar riff. The melodies on this release are primitively
moronic and not even mildly interesting overall. A week after you
hear this release, you will not remember a riff, except maybe
“Scum.” Maybe that is because the band actually wrote an
introduction to the song and attempted to establish a mood.
The drumming is plodding and the drums sound like crap. You
thought Lars Ulrich’s drums on
St. Anger sounded bad? Ulrich’s drums sound awesome compared
to the non-resonant thuds of drummer Kevin Taylor. Animal’s vocals
are whiny, snooty, and delivered in an annoyingly irritating
nasally manner. The riff of “Suicide . . . Have You Tried” sounds
like something a bunch of monkeys in a room with guitars and drums
could surpass.
Animal and guitarist Magoo produced this release. This song
serves as an example of why bands should not produce themselves.
This song screams – no, begs – for a producer outside of the band
to say “Are you crazy? This song blows!”
Third, and finally, the material just isn’t interesting. As I
mentioned, the riffs aren’t memorable, the lyrics are
mind-numbingly awful and delivered with such a crappy resolve
that… well, I think I’ve wasted enough of our time.
