Cruel Melody

Label: I Am WolfpackYear: 2007Artist Website: www.blacklightburns.com
Review by Paul Hanson
3 Min Read

Listening to this release is equivalent to when you are out with your friends and you get left to talk to the least attractive girl in the group. You take one for the team, survive and, at the end of the night, confess that it pretty much sucked.

Black Light Burns may not have the least attractive sound ever, but they are certainly toward the top of that list. That’s disheartening, considering this band is publicized to have a former member of Limp Bizkit in the lineup. It was a smart move to kick that guy out of the band, since he doesn’t do anything for this messy release either.

Why do bands feel the need to inflict this punishment on their listeners? From the opening droning chant “Mesopotamia” through the idiotic “Iodine Sky,” Black Light Burns should turn off the light and call it a day. The title of this disc is sadly accurate.

“Mesopotamia” features excellent lyrics such as “You fuckin’ give me the creeps.” Wow. The band wants to be a Nine Inch Nails with its electronic/industrial-flavored “Animal,” but it just doesn’t work. After the intro, the electronic effects are distracting, but that’s not necessarily bad, since the droning lyrics are uninteresting.

The lone light on this entire release is “Coward.” Beginning with an interesting drumbeat and giving way to a guitar riff that caters to the drummer’s rhythm is pretty cool. Unfortunately, the singer shows up and sings, instead of allowing this to be a killer instrumental.

By the time you suffer through the first five tracks, you arrive at “The Mark,” which seems to be about some sort of kinky bondage sex. I don’t know why the vocalist feels compelled to sing about this song — he is certainly no expert on the subject. He sings, “I have a mark on me / like a brand on my skin / . . ./ I don’t know what it means / I get caught up in dreams.” AC/DC, who can’t write good lyrics to save its souls, have better lyrics than this band.

In short, there is very little here worth hearing. There may be a local talent show where Black Light Burns might be the first act — the worst show of the night — but this CD will probably end up at pawn shops along with Sammy Hagar’s Marching to Mars, Dokken’s Shadowlife and anything by D.O.A.

This is a terrible album.

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BORN: December 1969 JOINED THE DV STAFF: October 1997 HOMETOWN: Cedar Rapids, Iowa NOW LIVING IN: North Liberty, IowaSPOUSE / KIDS?: Wife, Karen, married on 8/7/93. Two children: Megan, born 8/96, and Alex, born 10/98. FAVORITE ARTIST: Don't have one. I can go from saying Brand New Sin to Disarray to Postman Syndrome to Engine to TenFootPole to Black Sabbath to Metallica to Supafuzz to Tool to Brand New Sin in a single conversation. OTHER ARTISTS I LIKE: Offspring's "Americana" has found a new home in my player. Also, bands on Kung Fu Records, like the Ataris, Useless ID, and bands on Victory Records like TenFootPole. About the only 'bands' I can't stand are Meat Loaf and Linkin Park. BEER: Bud Light in a bottle. OTHER HOBBIES: PRO WRESTLING!! I like the athleticism of the wrestlers.BLOG: PRHmusic PERSONAL MOTTO: "There is no try. Do or do not." - Yoda I WRITE MUSIC REVIEWS BECAUSE: …I retired from playing drums in bands. Yet, I don't want to be away from the industry. I like writing and I like music so it seems a fit made in heaven.

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